Living my life, my way
I really was just letting life happen to me. I worked for the same company for nearly 20 years. Over the years, as you can imagine, things changed, a lot. This girl was not a big fan of all these changes. I pushed and resisted and struggled and made myself miserable. Guess what? Those changes happened anyway.
With the support of some great friends and bosses I was able to get through those changes, but it wasn’t’ easy. I think it helped that I had the opportunity to move within the company and held a variety of positions from office manager, buyer, contracts manager, materials manager and more. As the company grew, I slowly realized I was not enjoying my job anymore. I was literally going through the motions.
In my personal life, I had spent most of my adult life single. Never finding that person who I felt added to my life. I grew to be strong and learned to do just about everything on my own. I felt I knew who I was and who I wasn’t, what I wanted and what I didn’t, what I would and wouldn’t do.
Then, I entered a relationship with a guy I thought was THE one. We had a great time together, we enjoyed doing the same things, we worked well together, we laughed. Everything was great… until it wasn’t.
Everything I thought I knew about myself was no longer true. I thought I ended the relationship, and then let him back again. That was my first mistake. My second was doing it all over again a little over a year later.
Shortly after the death of my mother in 2014, I discovered coaching. I jumped in with both feet and knew THIS was what I am meant to do. I had found myself again.
By doing my own personal work with my coach, it became very clear that this current “relationship” I was in wasn’t anything I wanted. I knew I deserved so much more. I finally was ready to be done with the toxicity. It was this final ending that gave me even more power.
I knew the only way I was going to create my new life, was to drastically change my current one. So, I packed up my life and moved back home to Montana to be near my family.
Today, I spend time with my sisters and brothers, son and his sister (yeah there is more to that story), grand-kids, nieces, nephew, aunts, uncles, cousins and new chosen family. I work with wonderful clients who have chosen to make their personal and professional lives the best it can be; my life is truly fulfilling.
Why I chose the name Tamarack Coaching
As a Montana native, I grew up with tamarack trees all around me. The funny thing is, I was never aware of their existence, let alone their uniqueness and beauty. Although I visited Montana during every season, it wasn’t until my first fall actually living in Montana after thirty some years, that I noticed these yellow trees in the surrounding mountains; and in fact, in my own back yard. I was amazed I had never really noticed these trees in the past.
For me, this tree serves as a reminder to not only being aware of what’s going on around you, but also, to what’s going on within you.
To pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and to understand their benefits and detriments.
To have a willingness to look at the same old things you have looked at for years or decades and allow yourself to see them differently.
Then to take action to learn more about what has been discovered.
The needles remind me that while we may sometimes appear to be sharp and poky , there is a softness that reveals itself upon closer inspection.
The bright green color in spring suggests a renewal and an opportunity for growth and chance to stand out, if even only to ourselves.
The brilliant yellow of the needles in the fall signify the change that is possible within all of us, and most when we are outside our comfort zone.
The trees ability to withstand extreme cold reminds me that, as humans, we can withstand so many extremes in our lives; and survive.
We, like the tamarack, need deep roots in order to endure the winds of life, be they slight or hurricane force.
And finally, its longevity represents the immense wisdom we ALL have within ourselves.